What is Toxic Positivity?
Toxic positivity is the overgeneralisation of a positive mindset to the point where it dismisses or invalidates genuine emotions and struggles. While optimism and positivity can be beneficial, toxic positivity takes it to an extreme by rejecting any negative feelings or experiences. This can make people feel unheard, dismissed or unsupported when they are going through tough times.
For example, if someone shares their struggles and the response is, "Just think positive", “Look on the bright side”, or "Everything happens for a reason,".
This may come from a good place but can unintentionally shut down a person's emotions. Instead of offering empathy, it pressures people to suppress their feelings and put on a cheerful front or pretend all is well when it isn't. Encouragement and support is great but toxic positivity can lead to a person suppressing how they really feel.
How does toxic positivity affect mental health?
Toxic positivity can have several negative effects on mental health:
Emotional Suppression: Encouraging people to "stay positive" at all times can lead them to suppress genuine emotions like sadness, anger, or anxiety. This suppression can increase stress and even contribute to physical health issues.
Feelings of Shame and Isolation: When individuals feel judged for experiencing negative emotions, they may develop feelings of shame or withdraw from others, leading to isolation.
Erosion of Authentic Connections: Healthy relationships thrive on honesty and mutual understanding. Toxic positivity can hinder authentic emotional expression, creating emotional distance between people
Stunted Personal Growth: Negative emotions serve a purpose—they signal that something needs attention. Ignoring these feelings in favour of relentless positivity can prevent individuals from addressing underlying issues and growing and learning from their experiences.
How can we counter toxic positivity?
Counteracting toxic positivity involves fostering emotional authenticity and creating a supportive environment. The following are examples of how this can be achieved:
Validate Emotions: Acknowledge and accept all emotions, both positive and negative. It's okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated, these emotions are part of being human.
Practice Empathy: Instead of offering platitudes like "stay positive," try saying, "That sounds really tough. I'm here for you." This shows understanding and support.
Encourage Open Communication: Create safe spaces where people feel comfortable expressing their feelings without fear of judgment.
Avoid Minimizing Struggles: Refrain from dismissing someone's challenges with overly optimistic statements. Instead, listen actively and offer genuine support.
Promote Self-Compassion: Remind yourself and others that it's okay to have bad days. Treat yourself with kindness and patience during difficult times.
Balance Positivity with Realism: While optimism is valuable, it's important to acknowledge reality and address challenges head-on.
If you have been impacted by toxic positivity and would welcome an environment where you can express yourself openly and without judgement then counselling could benefit you. If this resonates with you, get in touch and we can talk through your options.